I really need some help here. The biggest regret of my life has to do with a guy. Surprise.
Here's the situation:
Last year, while I was at BU, I was super high off herbal Chinese medicine that was supposed to help with my cough and I sent an email to the guy who I will call the Guy of My Dreams (GoMDs) about how much I think we should date. The stupidest thing I've ever done, hands down. Because I don't care how cute and successful those teen chick flick movies say this method is, that sh*t never works. It just creeps him out. Here is why I think/said we would be perfect together:
- He's Chinese and his family speaks Cantonese. Already beautiful.
- He likes film scores more than your average film score partaker. He wanted to be a film composer, but decided to take a more reliable route (business). Ummm, remind me of anyone much? (Reminds me of myself).
- We're both extremely driven and obsessed with success and grades.
- We both want to date someone Asian/Chinese.
- We both <3 the San Gabriel Valley.
- We don't go to the same university but we're in the same area (Southern California/L.A.) so we would still be able to see each other but we wouldn't get tired of each other.
- I think he's cute, he thought I was cute when he met me....we both think each other is cute.
- He's an Econ major and plans to get an MBA. I'm an IR/Chinese major and I plan to get an MBA.
Can you imagine what a power couple we would be?
My roommate brings up a good point. I'm only 20, I shouldn't even looking. But I wasn't looking for him! I met him in 2007 and he just kind of evolved into this amazing guy...The Guy of My Dreams. My roommate also says that I shouldn't keep holding onto the past, and that I should look towards the future. The thing is....that's what I'm doing. This wonderful guy would be good for my future. He's driven, I think he's physically attractive, and it would be a mutually symbiotic relationship. We would be so good for each other. My parents would be happy that I'm dating a good-looking, driven ABC from the San Gabriel Valley, and I would be able to help him with life in general because I'm just that f*cking awesome.
There are two problems/obstacles with my situation:
1. He goes to UCLA, our rival university. So he probably automatically hates my guts for going to USC.
2. I creeped him out by being too persistent with that stupid email. Worst. Mistake. Ever.
3. He might not think I'm cute anymore :'( because I've gained some weight.
I just want closure. He won't reply on the few occasions I've tried to reach out to him. I keep having dreams and daydreams about how we meet again in person by chance and he realizes that I'm actually perfect for him, and he falls in love with me instantly, and then he persistently tries to get me to go on dates with him.
But that would never happen, would it? What I don't need is people telling me to move on. Perfect matches like these don't happen every few years, let alone once a year, or every few days. Especially not for geeky, snubbed people who call themselves "Nerd Girl." Not for people like me, who instead of saying I'm Aquarius or in a sorority or that I'm a whatever major, I identify myself first as Slytherin, Fire Nation, and a film score/film/comicbook/music/etc. geek. I know the world seems like it's full of guys who would willing think I'm awesome, but do you know, world, how truly cruel you are?
All I really want.....is to see him in person again. I am in love with him. I'm 20, and I am in love with a guy who hates me and thinks I'm a freak. World, please help me. With your cosmic powers, please just help me not to love him without causing any harm to him (like don't kill him, that would be bad), or give me another chance to see him. I just really want to see him again, so I can convince him that I would make a great girlfriend for him.
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Jack Sparrow Soulmate (JSSM) Update:
GoMDs aside, I've seen JSSM THREE TIMES since I wrote that blog post about how I have to talk to him and make him my friend. And every time I've been struck dumb, so stunned that I'm seeing him and totally unable to stop him and introduce myself. How sad is that?
Hello, world. My name is Nerd Girl, like a stereotypical geekus primary, I'm currently unlucky in social relationships.
Ask him out. Not on a date. But with your friends and if he wants, his friends too, to hang out. Be in your wittiest possible way and just how you noted the above list down... slowly and not too clingy-ly point out those things to him and if he gives you a blank look, laugh it off.
ReplyDeleteI dont assure you whether this will help or not but, well give it a try...
PS: it just struck me that by doing this, if you have an attractive smart friend.. he might start liking her and end up dating her.
I'm sorry but you've got to take the risk.. :)
Good luck with it.
Bitchzilla on The loose.
I wish I could but it's a matter of making him want to actually see me, right? And I'm not worried about him dating one of my friends because most of them 1. wouldn't be interested in dating him because he's kind of a mid-sized Chinese guy and they're more into Caucasians....and 2. he is more into Asian girls and most of my friends are tall, Caucasian girls who wouldn't be interested in him anyway. UGH. I just really need to see him in person...like go to a USC/UCLA event where he is also going then just bump into him "randomly." Yes, that's what needs to happen...
ReplyDeleteStalk him girl... (healthy way) :P
ReplyDeleteBitchzilla on The loose.